What it Means to do Something “Like a Girl," By Ellen

Picture a game of softball, an eighth grade PE class is split into 2 teams: one fielding, one batting. On the batting team, a boy steps up onto the plate confidently, bat at the ready. The whistle blows. He swings, he misses, it’s a strike. The other boys laugh. Two more tries: whistle, toss, swing. Both times the ball flies past him and onto the ground. He’s out. The boy lets the bat fall to the ground and steps off the plate looking wounded. “You hit like a girl!” one of his friends say, the boy looks down.
Next a girl steps up onto the plate, bat at the ready. She is nervous, the girl feels like everyone is expecting her to do badly. She swings, she misses, it’s a strike. The boys tell her it’s ok to get out. Round two, whistle, toss, swing - she hits the ball at full force. The girl makes it to second base. Her teammates are surprised, laughing at the boy that had striked out before her, “You got beaten by a girl,” they tell him. The girl hears, she doesn’t understand why they are laughing now that she managed to hit the ball, she feels out of place. On the other hand, the boy is ashamed, he hits like a girl.

That for someone to do something “like a girl” means doing it poorly, something that many of us
learn yet never really take into perspective. Boys use it as an insult, and especially, when it comes
to playing sports.

This is a typical scenario in many cases. ‘Like a girl,’ is used as a joking phrase, something boys
to say to tease one another. And finally girl’s just accept and internalise the expression, an
expression that suggests someone weaker, a screw up, laughable and useless. When did we start
describing girl’s under these stereotypes? And when did the stereotype of boys being better than
girl’s become generally accepted worldwide and between cultures? We can all recognise what it means to “run like a girl,” running childishly; flapping our arms around wildly and basically looking as silly as possible. This may seem funny, laughable, but when we are hit with the truth it is simply degrading.

From a survey taken among 8th graders at UWCSEA, 8/10 girls admitted having being told they had done something ‘like a girl’ at some point. Half of them added that it was all the time, and 7/10 girls told us that they took the expression as something insulting and downgrading to women and girls.
“I think saying ‘like a girl’ will definitely bring someone’s self esteem down, because when a girl is trying really hard but then someone’s like ‘oh you're acting like a girl’ well, what does that mean to act like a girl? We are girls, and that doesn’t mean it's a bad thing. Boys may think it’s okay to say it to each other because then they just laugh it off, but when a girl hears it, it can really bring them down.” says Mallika Shankar, an eighth grade student. What is revealed here is that ‘like a girl’ has much more of an underlying meaning to it than just a laugh, but the real issue is that this expression clearly demonstrates an example of how sexism is still a part of our everyday world. Yet many people still argue that it’s only a joke, that girl’s should understand not to take it too seriously. “I think that the boys have to learn to be more sensitive,” Commented Mallika on the issue, also bringing up another point that is by using this term many people still do not realise what they are implying.

For many girls, especially those playing what are typically ‘boys’ sports, have been directed with ‘like a girl’ countless times. “I’ve stopped taking it as an insult but it still does hurt,” said Anisha Sullivan, an eighth grade girl on the football team. She was asked why she thought this expression was directed to her a lot. “They say it because I play a traditionally boys sport and in a way they can’t admit that I may be better than them or play versus them because that would be admitting to weakness. So instead they reverse to say ‘oh you play like a girl.’ Which really in itself has no meaning, but, it hurts because we’ve put the stereotype of playing like a girl on that.” Underlying how we are pushing all girls into a mould that society has created, into even the point where it’s downgrading to be referred to one simply because we believe what society creates.

Many girls also believe that these stereotypes limit girls to what they can and can’t do. This topic was brought up many times when 8th graders were asked how they thought the expression ‘like a girl’ had an impact on young girls. “I think that it would really hurt the way they see themselves. If they got told, ‘you throw like a girl, you hit like a girl.’ It can make you stop playing sports, to stop following your passions, it feels like people are judging you, and that they watch how you play.” said Anisha Sullivan.
Some girls even had their own stories to share about how this common gender stereotyping had an affect on them. One of the 8th graders, Megha Jain, who does dance and gymnastics, both of which are typically referred to as ‘girl’s sports’ was asked why she chose those two sports in particular. “Mostly gender stereotypes, like at my last school the stereotypes were really big, girls would be on the playground and guys would be on the football field. And I went along so I kind of got stuck with dancing and gymnastics. I feel like I assume that if I try any other sports then people are going to be like ‘why are you doing that?’ Because if I try to do touch rugby people are going to judge me so much. So I just go back to sports that I know I can and am meant to do.” Megha replied. This offers evidence that it’s not only the stereotyping itself, but also the topic of self esteem and being willing to take that extra step over the line. Which for many reasons is difficult, where during adolescence is when a girl’s self esteem plummet the most. Of course self esteem and gender equality are both huge issues, of which ‘like a girl,’ only shares a small role in, nonetheless it is something so simple and so easy for us to change. And from this it has the potential to lead to bigger things, changing people’s mindsets about what it means to be a girl and to do something like a girl, and encouraging girl’s to stand up for themselves and feel comfortable in their own bodies.

By Ellen Potter.