The Words They Say, Make Bruises That Don’t Fade Away-By Vardhaman Lodha

Bullying in Indian schools continues to be a serious problem. According to recent news reports, 5% of children in India, especially those aged between 8 to 12, are physically bullied including in well known institutions such as St.Xavier’s Collegiate School, Kolkata.

“Fight...Fight….Fight….Fight.” One can hear this much too often during lunchtime at St.Xavier’s. The poor little children tremble in fear as the High Schoolers walk towards them, determined to unnecessarily pick up a fight.

Unfortunately, what happens inside the school seems to have remained within the high walls of the same. The parents of the victims and the society at large seem to be blissfully unaware of the unpleasant occurrences. Those that have an inclination are unable to understand the gravity of the situation - after all, aren’t students in one of the best all-boys school in the country supposed to be strong and capable of fending for themselves?

Furthermore, the faculty seems to have been unable to eliminate this problem in most Indian schools. If a child is bullied and goes upto a teacher, the teacher just calls the bullies and asks them not to repeat the incident again. There is no serious action taken against them. They easily get away, without fully understanding the difference between what is right and what isn’t. Moreover, there is no counselling given to the victims in most instances.

One such incident took place on the 7th of February, 2012. The sun was shining brightly over the massive green football pitch. Everything seemed normal until it was time for break. As soon as the period bell rang, kids from all the different classes rushed out of their classrooms to go and buy their lunch. There was pandemonium.

As usual, the High Schoolers hogged the football pitch, making sure that nobody else even laid their foot on the well kept soft green grass. ‘Sharing is caring’, was not something they believed in.

After a few minutes, something very unusual happened. One boy from primary school mustered the courage to go to the pitch. The minute the sole of his polished black shoes touched the grass, all the high schoolers glared at him. Each one of them resembled ‘The Hulk.’

They looked at him in the eye and tried their best to frighten him. However, all their attempts went in vain. The boy did not move. Not even an inch. It felt like he was planted to the ground like a tree. He seemed fearless.

Suddenly, a few of the ‘Big Dudes’ started striding towards him. Now the distance between the child standing alone and the group of High Schoolers was only around 6ft. Finally, one of the big boys opened his mouth and said in a harsh voice, “ Get outta here….. Go play somewhere else. Only we can play here.”

But the kid did not move. He still seemed calm and replied sarcastically, “ Where is your name written on the pitch? I don’t see it. Everybody has the right to play wherever they want to and just because we are half your size, doesn’t mean you have the authority to treat us in such a cruel way.”

That was it. No other child had ever mustered the courage to go to the pitch at break, let alone challenge the big boys so openly. In a few seconds, the kid became the centre of attraction. He was surrounded by 8 High Schoolers. And then, all of a sudden, everything turned black.

After 15 minutes or so, the poor kid woke up in the nurse’s room. His head felt like it was going to rip apart and his stomach hurt, but it was his heart that ached the most. It ached because he was sad. It ached because his confidence had been shattered.

After a few weeks time, the kid came down to the pitch again. But this time his face lacked the determination it had once had. He knew he had lost, as he said to the bullies, “ I promise I won’t come here again. Please don’t hurt me the next time.” And then he walked away.

That incident had destroyed that poor little child. For life, perhaps. What was his mistake? Would he ever fight for his rights again? Would he ever trust his heart again? Would he ever be determined to pursue his dreams, to practice football, no matter what?

When asked- What do you think is the effect of bullying on people that are bullied?, Daniel Seymour, a student at UWCSEA (East campus) class 8RUp, said that, “Sometimes like me I get over it after a while, but I never forget it and cannot really ever forgive the bully.” Jace Gallante of class 8RUp, UWCSEA(East campus) was asked the same question and his response was, “It makes them angry, depressed and scared. They might become really depressed that sometimes they want to kill themselves.”

Both these comments portray the fact that bullying can have massive detrimental impacts (both physical and mental) on the victims. It can destroy their self esteem, confidence, etc. It is a common phenomenon amongst school going children. Frequent bullying is associated with certain symptoms and school absenteeism. According to a study released by the Indian Journal of Pediatrics in 2011, 60% of the students in India are bullied per year. This does not only include physical bullying, but verbal and cyberbullying as well. What is more shocking is the fact that only 39% of the victims’ parents know about the incidents.

What about the 61% of the victims’ whose parents have no idea and wrongly believe that their child is enjoying school. How do these children handle the trauma? Do they have somebody else to turn to? Do they dread school? Do they feel lost?

Imagine yourself being bullied in school. You come back home and your mom is serving you lunch. She asks you- “How was your day in school darling?” What will you say? You would probably say “It was good” and not mention the bullying, just like 61% of the victims, who keep their secrets hidden deep inside their hearts.

They probably don’t want their parents to get stressed and hence try and hide the reality. Some children might even think that their parents will just shout back at them and call them a ‘Sissy’, because they could not fight back. The poor victims’ probably have nobody to show them the light at the end of the tunnel.

Just thinking about the victim is not the appropriate thing to do. Thinking about- ‘ what makes a bully, a bully ’, is also quite vital. When asked this question, Victor Schneuwly of class 8RUp at UWCSEA (East Campus) said that,“ A bully is a person who has been hurt or beat in a physical or mental way. These people need a way to release energy so they pick on people. But sometimes the energy is infinite and this leads to long term bullying.”

Indiaparenting.com says that, “Bullies are children who like to dominate others. Bullies are often children who want to feel important and want to make themselves popular. Bullying children who are weaker than themselves makes them feel big and powerful. Many a times bullies are just insensitive children who know that it hurts their victims but they continue to do it anyway. Some children who bully are attention-seeking. Children who do not get emotional support at home and are not given attention at home may try to attract attention towards themselves in the classroom through bullying. In some cases, a child who is bullied sometimes ends up bullying others. Other factors such as teacher's indifference to the victims and bad disciplining by parents of bullies can also cause bullying.”

This relates to Victor Schneuwly’s comment about what makes a bully, a bully, because they both mention the fact that a bully is a person who has been bullied, or hurt, either in a physical, or mental way. They might also be attention-seekers and think that in order to fit into society, it is vital to portray your power and strength on kids that are half your size.

Bullied children often feel neglected and lonely. They are made fun of and left out of groups on purpose. At such times, the support and care of parents and teachers will help them to fight bullies. Children who are being bullied dislike going to school and the very thought of going to school makes them fearful and uneasy. Bullying can also have long-term effects on both the bullies and the bullied. Studies suggest that bullies are more likely to engage in criminal activity at a young age itself. Children who have been bullied are more likely to suffer from low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, loneliness and other negative emotions. In some severe cases the bullied child may also experience unwanted thoughts. Therefore, it is very necessary for parents to take the right steps to help their child to come out of this situation.

What some readers may not realize is the fact that bullying is not only a serious problem in India, but can be a major one all over the world. Buzzle.com says that, “ All over the world: Every half an hour, one child attempts suicide as a result of being bullied. Every year, around 19,000 children attempt suicide as a result of the same. Every seven minutes, one child is subjected to bullying on the school playground. What's more shocking, is the fact that 85 percent cases of bullying go on without any intervention from fellow students or teachers.” This makes it clear that bullying is a problem that needs to be arrested. If not now, then never.

In the United States, 64% of children who were bullied did not report it. The figures are similar to those of India. However, confiding in somebody else can go a long way in making the victim feel better.

“Another case that caused a widespread anger in the Eastern Indian society, exactly in the city of Kolkata after the death of a student who was subjected to school bullying, was the case of Oindrila Das. The 11 year old girl who was traumatized after she was locked for hours in the toilet of her school by a group of senior girls from her school. Oindrila died after she was sent to a local hospital for treatment,” says nobullying.com.

This is very similar to the incident that took place on the 7th of February 2012 at St.Xavier’s Collegiate school Kolkata, because in both the cases the victims were from the same city and were bullied severely.

Bullying can be a humiliating and embarrassing experience for children. It can demoralize them for life. If a child is being bullied in school, it is very incorrect on the part of the teachers to ignore the issue. Moreover, if parents think that something seems amiss and their child does not look forward to going to school, they must try and get to the bottom of the situation as soon as possible. The help and support of parents is very important to help the child cope with bullying.

In order to get rid of bullying, schools must become more strict and take serious action against bullies. This will make them think twice before actually doing something wrong. Not only parents and teachers, even students can help stop bullying. When a student sees their peer or somebody else being bullied, they should call a teacher and tell them explicitly what happened. Going up to the bully and telling them to stop is probably not a feasible option, as many students will not muster the courage to fight against people bigger and stronger than them. Even if they go to the bullies and tell them to stop, 99.99 % they will either get beaten up badly or they will be looked through.

Every child has the right to be treated respectfully. School days are meant to be filled with beautiful and fond memories. It must be ensured that Bullying does not victimize any child, so that each one of them can build these moments that they can cherish forever. “The words they say, make bruises that don’t fade away.”

"Bullying and Children." Indiaparenting.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 7 Dec. 2015.

"Bullying Facts." Buzzle.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 7 Dec. 2015.

"Bullying in India." Nobullying.com. N.p., n.d. Web.